About a night ago I asked God, “What did actually happen when I was born? Was I one of the most wonderful little things when I opened my eyes for the first time? Were my parents looking at each other and said grace? Were they hold one another and cried in tears of joy?” but the amazing thing is, after I have those questions inside my head, I smiled and experienced a great journey to the time when I could feel my mom’s tender hug and my dad’s jokes.
Then I remembered one afternoon, when my dad was having a nap, I was just 4 or 5 at that time, I took my mom’s make up utilities and put them onto my dad’s face. Now I realized that he was actually awake at that time, he was pretending that he was sleeping, I didn’t know that at that time, but I had a great time giggling when my father woke up and acted so surprised when he saw his face through the mirror, and I can remember it very clearly that he winked his eyes a couple of time and acted like a young woman, dancing and singing with a girly voice. He lifted me up and we were dancing (I was giggling with joy while he swing me like a ballerina) while my mother was laughing beside us, what a wonderful moment it was. I saw a different part of my dad at that time, he was not acting as a father at that time, but he acted like one of my playmate.
It might just a simple memory, but to me, it became one of the best moments that I had with him, he was a police officer for God’s sake, but he acted like a little kid. I thank God for I’ve seen that part of him, I’m so grateful for God had given me the opportunity to be that close with my dad, play with him as he is a little boy too, and my mother was there acting like a little girl too. I would do anything to go back to that time, I know it’s impossible, but when I see the smile of their faces, my heart pounded so fast and my eyes got warm, I got this beautiful but hurting feeling by missing them at the same time.
The world tells you, “You need to see it to believe it”. But God says, “Faith is the confident assurance that what we hope for its going to happen. Is the evidence of things we cannot yet see”. Only as you believe it will you ever see it. Once you see it by faith, it can come into existence in the physical world. I would never ever see both my dad and mom physically anymore, but having the memories of them had given me the idea that I’ll never be alone. I learned to see them with my heart and faith, somehow they were never left, I still can feel their tender kisses and when I was down and hurt, I could feel they’re hands hold me so close and warm.
There were the years when I hated my own birthdays, for I couldn't bare the thought that I couldn’t feel my parent’s tender hugs and whisper to me “Happy Birthday dear”. I hated the world and God for taking them away from me, but when I was fall down to the deepest desperation, I ordered myself to get up and start to move on. Amazingly, I found that my life is so colorful and God had been so kind to me by letting me experienced so many disappointing things. I became a happy person, happier every single day, I could see God’s love and the memories of my parents through the simplest thing in my life, and life is so beautiful! Life is kind and rich with love!
I love my life and love has discovered me, and these feelings are giving me the strength to strengthen people’s life around me too! All of these amazing things had given me the strength to lift others life, giving courage to disappointed hearts, wiped the tears of the broken hearted, and so many other amazing things that I could do to others! Encouraging people’s life and reminding them how simple things can replete their life and enriched it with hope. From doing all these things, I found my self satisfaction and happiness, and one important point, everyone deserves to be happy for who they are and do as best as they can to contribute to life with their own ways.
So… Maybe you’ve been hurt in life or made some wrong choices. But if you have honestly repented and done your best to do the right thing since then, you no longer have to live with guilt and shame. You may be crippled physically, spiritually or emotionally. That doesn’t change God’s covenant with you. You are still a child of the Most High God. He has great things in store for you. Be bold and claim what belongs to you, and that is the love of God and your courage to reach you dreams, with these thoughts you can find that your life and happiness inside had been restored.
Happy Easter to all, with love,
Lisa Fransiska Sitompul
April 11th, 2011