Sunday, 5 June 2011

Persistent Rain

How can I ease your weary heart? How I can wipe away your tears… To be honest, I have no answers to those questions, but I have just written my simple prayer to a dear friend of mine:

I believe you can always stand tall in all storms my dear, just hold on and let God bless you with the discovery beyond all questions. Let go all agitation and let my shoulder be the place to lean on your weary head, as much as I aware that I can’t do much to ease anything, but still, I do have the heart to say; “Through what ever stands right before your very eyes, you have me by your side and you can turn to me any time at all, no matter what happened!”

Life is never easy, most of the times, things aren’t fair too. But what can we do about it? We can sit and regret all the things that had occurred in our life, or we can blame everything to ease the pain. But, are those things really worked out? Are those things helped you to survive this cruel world as a complete person or will you let this hostile ground that we stand on create a person full of bitterness in you?

Sometimes, I really want to call out loud to God and ask why on this and that. There were the times when I sat down and asked myself, why some people are cruel enough to walk away after they did a certain painful things to other people and act like nothing happened? But hey! They’re all humans just like you and I! What do you expect? Their imperfections are exactly the same as yours and mine! Then I thought again; ‘What should I do about it?’, and what I found was, the moment I had these thoughts, I started to create a persistent remonstrance against the Lord. Those questions drove me to doubts and uncertain destinations!

Just like a persistent rain, painful things are occurring over and over again in our life. The path of our life sometimes drag us to be a non believer, the pain by our broken heart can brings us to a disconcerting attitude, but.., do we really want this agitating things occupied our heart and mind? And there were the times when the world pointed out its judgments toward us, and there were also the times when people have the heart to do things with the mask of sincerity, drawn us into a circular agony, at the end, what we felt is the condemnation of perpetual exile from our own heart and the people that we love the most! And believe me; the moment you reached this stage, you’re going to shut down the light of your heart, lock the door of your mind to greatness awaits for you and you’re about to be a super annoying person.

I have all the reason to say “Thank God” for every painful, bitter and unfair thing that occurred in my life, I had heard someone said to me once, be good to yourself, and he said, ‘Let it be’ to many agonizing things that happened to me. He taught me to sit alone in stillness, think of nothing, believe and think about the things that I love the most. Let great memories fill my heart and mind, think about the moment I did nothing but listen to the song that being sung by someone thousands of miles away, and other amazing things that anyone ever did for me! And his guidance had led me to the point where I realized that God loves me that much by the love of the people in my surroundings.

And I guess, I also have all the reason to never fear the rain anymore, it’s quite funny when everyone say, “Hey, it’s running out there, you can get sick!” while what I had in mind was, “Oh, it’s raining, cool!”. And now, I know that I’m blessed by the thought of amazing things every time the rain falls, I always have this thought of running under the rain, kissing under the rain, playing soccer under the rain, ride a bicycle under the rain or even just walking alone under a very heavy rain! The thought of getting wet, feel the cold water runs through my head to toe give me certain happiness inside! There’s no more pretending that I’m alright, because…, I AM ALRIGHT!

A man chuckled once when I ended a sad story with,

“Ugh, but then again, what the heck? I’ll be alright!”

And the moment he stopped the chuckling session, he said,

“Yes, you’ll be alright my lady, you always do. That’s the privilege of being a Lady Hitler, and I know that you will always have the strength to carry on, no doubt about that!”

Somehow, that moment had become the pedestal of a new courage, the sign of a fulfilled promise that I can move on. The persistent rain of painful and hurting things had turned out to be the persistent rain of happiness, new hope and new strength. I don’t have to walk thousands of miles to leave all pains; I don’t have to ask questions to get answers. I have enough faith to see things beyond belief, and the thought of there’s a certain beauty in imperfections had created a sublime reliance of God’s love inside of me.

And by this amazing blessing, I would say to you, my dear friends, you will never walk alone; have the faith that the only thing that makes you tremble to carry on your journey is the thought of your imperfection, the lack of beliefs in your abilities and strength! I’m not asking you to have an over confidence attitude, but I do ask you to believe that the only impossible thing in life is when you start to have doubts in what you have in you! Yes, things do look unreachable, yes, indifference in way of thinking make you an awkward person among the ordinary, but how come you do something extraordinary by doing things in ordinary ways? Just do your best and put a great deal of love in what ever you do, and let what the ancient used to call as destiny by the will of God do the rest. You might not see the result now, but you’ll see, and when you have the smile of the satisfaction by doing what you believe, you’ll remember me, a simple woman who said once that she would always be there for you, as you were always be there for her, you just didn’t realize it.

I wish you all to have the great happy smile every time you wake up in the morning with a faith that a great day will come to you the moment you believe that persistent rain of love, joy, happiness and strength keeps coming back for you again and again… I love you, God be with you all.


Lisa Fransiska Sitompul

February 21st 2010.

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