Have you ever thought that you might just open a sealed door? Or you might just hand over the key of someone heart without realizing it? And what do you expect when something like this happened to you?
I wrote once, meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was something that I had no control over. And I meant every single word of it! Have you ever ask yourself why this and that? And being in love or having the honor to feel love is not always having this loved one in your arms. I guess we all have to learn that the only way to cherish what we have inside is to have the courage to stand on where we should stand.
It will never easy, believe me, but what is the best remedy of love than to keep loving no matter what? I found that love is not something that we search, it works the opposite way. We have to let love discovers us, let this amazing thing become something unknown and maybe, it might have to be something unrevealed too. If it does, what will you do? Cry your eyes out for you’ve lost the chance? Make it as something worth a fight? Or?
Do any of us have the strength and the courage to let it be as something that we only feel inside? Will you have the courage to create a maze inside your heart and mind, and put this unconditional love right in the middle and the only person who knows the way in is you? Let this place be the beautiful hiding place, the place where you can lay down on the wet grass, look at the stars alone, and the only way for anyone to find you are when you walk out from that maze.
Nothing is certain in this life, I can assure you that! I was proposed by a man after he interviewed me for a job once. I thought I was in a kind of a candid camera show or something like that! But it didn’t, he meant every word and it scared the shit out of me!
The moment I met one of my best friends and told her what happened, she said, “I’m not surprised, you’re an extra-ordinary person, so, if something unusual and extra-ordinary thing occurred to you, I’m not surprised!” We had some discussion on that matter and she said again, “Don’t you know that you have a colorful life? And that what makes you so special, you’re one of a kind”.
Not long after that, a dear old friend came all the way from Cairo to visit me. And when I replied to his lunch invitation, asked him what brings him here to Jakarta, Indonesia, he answered in a short sentence, “I came for you, I want to marry you, bring you home and love you till the end of my days.” I was stunned, didn’t know what to say, the last time we met was in Melbourne back in 1993-1994, he was a Turkish student, one of my friend in my Asian Business Culture Class, back in Melbourne.
We never dated, we even never sat on the same table for lunch and by the name of the universe, the only conversation that we had back then was when we were looking at the names of horses on The Australia’s Day Horse Race! We found each other by the help of our friend in Tokyo, and about a month after our first contact after so many years he came to visit, but, what makes him came to me after he moved to Cairo and continued his career as a lawyer there!
Well, beside the fact that I don’t really want to know or ask God on this and that about the things that I experienced, I also have no idea what love is, but I do believe in something, that love had discovered me with its certain funny and in an unexpected way too. I came to a point and asked my self…
Will I’d be so lovable if I’m an ordinary person? No! Being different, unique and a bit strange had led me to the point that I stand now, and it all didn’t happen by ordinary reasons. I experienced so many amazing things almost all my life, and even though I chosen the wrong path once, I guess, that wrong full of storm and disappointments path had led me to the path that I walk on now.
I’m glad to say, that since I decided to find myself and my dreams, I found that life has so much to offer! My life is beautiful, and I met so many amazing and beautiful people along the way too! I opened the way for love to found me by funny chances, by accidental clicks which done by my fingers, by un-explained events, by unusual acquaintance and by unpredictable discoveries too!
I think, I have the courage to say this, I might have no chance to find someone to hold me and love me the way I am, but I guess I’m happy enough to know that I have someone out there loving me in his own certain way. I don’t need to hear the whisper of those amazing “I love you” words from his lips, for he has showed it in so many amazing un-explained ways. And what a great thing to say, that my life is like a beautiful stanza written by great poet, since I know that I’m a complete person (funny, strange, unique, and a bit annoying sometime) who fills someone’s heart from the moment he opens his eyes in the morning till the time he closes his eyes to sleep each night…Once again, do I need to hear his recognition on that matter? You tell me, but if I have the honor to answer, I would gaily said, "I don't think so..."
So, finally…, a wise man said once "great things are simple, and simple things are great", and I read once that "great thing comes in a small package", uhm... I guess the greatness of love is also shown by simple things that someone does every day. And those things aren't have to be something that he does well consciously, as simple as a smile when he looked at a name in a list is a GRAND SIGNATURE to what he feels and cherishes inside...
Love to you all,
Lisa Fransiska Sitompul
November 5th 2009