Saturday, 4 June 2011

Angels vs bubbles

Angel : a messenger or servant of God, a beautiful or innocent or kind person.
Bubble : a floating ball formed of liquid and containing air or gas, a ball of air or gas in a liquid in a material such as glass.

I have so many thoughts about angels and bubbles lately.
For angels, I’ve heard about it since I was in a very young age.
And for bubbles; sometimes I wish that I can be a bubble, floats, fly above everything and when it reach the ground it burst and simply GONE, VANISHED, and FORGOTTEN !
(Then the next question is, which one comes first ? Vanished or forgotten ?)

No particular reason to explain why I have this thoughts of being a bubble; for I’ve reached and managed to embrace my long lost heart, soul, and some certain points in my life; and to me, this is something that I had never imagined before!
I thought, after a moment of facing some painful facts and sacrificing some of the things that I love the most in life, I had lost everything! But then again, who would imagine that even in the most devastating scenario, God might had prepared something beyond our imaginations!

By this, I pain, no gain….
And now, the question is :
“Are you ready to suffer the pain to reach this something that we can count as what we’ve gained and feel happy about it?”

Then, the other questions such as :
“What kind of pain?”
“How long is this pain will occur?”
“Is it worth enough to suffer to gain this and that?”
And so many other questions that could give you the shiver and the horror to just even make your first step!!

I was born as an ordinary human being, nothing special about my childhood, nothing extra ordinary about how I was brought up by my family. Well. At least that's how I see the pattern of my life. But then, if I may recall my memory, the memory of my typewriter that was given by my dad when I was just eight, It always managed to remind me of how I had a great memory by having a dead thing as a best friend.

What's that supposed to do with me wanting to be a bubble ?
Or…, what is the link of that “typewriter memory” with my thoughts about angels?

The answer is… EVERYTHING!!!

For sometimes, we didn’t realise that a simplest thing could effect our entire life.
I wouldn’t ever write a note or have so many thoughts to share if I never had that typewriter!
A thing that I could consider as my ‘frozen, dead, non-living’ angel.

What is an Angel anyway ?
Is it a beautiful being with wings that flies around our head and help us to decide what we should or shouldn’t do?
Is it the voice of our conscious inside our head and mind?
But the real question is, do they actually exist???

Physically, I never met an angel before, but for bubbles, I’ve seen bubbles in my whole life, I played with bubbles when I had my bath, and I believe almost all of us had the experience of using soaps or shampoos to make bubbles as something so playful and fun!
No one actually imagine the link between angels and bubbles, including me, but I found two crucial facts, that they do connected one and another..

First, angels and bubbles both fly and floats….
And the second fact, they both can appear and disappear in a nick of time (in cartoons, angels appear as a holly conscious that whisper good things and suddenly they just simply….puff…GONE!)

How could we picture an angel?
Every religions, every cultures and every clans in this planet has their own way to picture the figure of this what we call the messenger or servant of God.
I heard my mama or papa said, “Sleep tight, and may the angels keep you safe tonight…” for God knows how many times, and when I had to face the fact that I have to let go both of my mama and papa, I have more interest in this angel thing, what they actually do and who they actually are.

And by the time passed by, I found that we all could see many of angels around us, but then I realised that so many people had the experiences of being hurt, betrayed and stabbed by their loved ones, the one that they called an angel that came into their lives once...

And I heard a song....

I heard he sang a lullaby, I heard he sang it from the heart.
When I found out though I would die,because that lullaby was mine.
I heard he sealed it with a kiss, he gently kissed her cherry lips.
I found that so hard to believe, because his kiss belonged to me.

Refrain :
How could an angel break my heart ? 
Why didn’t he catch my falling stars ?
I wish I didn’t wish that hard… 
Maybe I wished that love apart…
How could an angel break my heart ?
I heard her face as white as rain, soft as rose that blooms in May
He keeps her picture in a frame, and when he sleeps he call her name,
I wonder if she makes her smile, the way he used to smile at me.
I hope she doesn’t make him laugh, because his laugh belonged to me…

Oh My soul is dying, it’s crying, I’m trying to understand, please help…
(taken from Tony Braxton’s song, “HOW COULD AN ANGEL BREAK MY HEART”)

To be honest, I was guessing when I heard this song, who’s this angel Tony Braxton referred to?
Is this a song of a broken hearted woman?
Is she crying and dying inside for the man that she thought as the angel of her life?
From the words, she was talking about another person who took away the man that she loved with all her heart. Then I came to my conscious and a conclusion, this thing happens all the time in our lives, someone could come as angel into our life and suddenly this someone gave us the most bitter pain we could ever imagined!


Sometimes, we didn’t realise that maybe the angel is not him or her, but YOU, ME!
And maybe it’s better for us to be a forgotten angel, for an angel never breaks a promise, so, there’s no point of thinking that an angel could ever break your heart!

Be the angel, be the bubble, fly, floats, give the joy….
And when the time for you to be the forgotten one,
just……GO!! Disappear!! Don’t expect anything!!

The real little Mermaid story ended as a sad story!
This little mermaid turned into the sea bubbles, GONE, VANISHED and FORGOTTEN!
All occurred fter she refused to kill the prince that she loved, refused the fact that she had to spill the prince’s blood onto her legs so she could turn back into a mermaid again!
Hans Christian Anderson could really drawn the picture of how someone could sacrifice her life and choose to be the forgotten one just to prove her love.
So, once again, who’s the angel in this story?

I believe that we all have our own Guardian Angel, someone who stands right beside us, even though this angelic individual never actually there in person. I don’t need a letter, a note or a phone call to know that this angel loves me, but I do believe that somewhere out there, someone actually care for me; and knowing this someone is actually there would be enough for me.
And I came to an understanding, that maybe…, I could be an angel to someone too…
Maybe I had done the most simple thing that gives the smile upon someone’s face whether this person never actually realise of my existence in her of his life.

And for me, once you’re an angel, you will always be an angel, no one can take that away from you!
Once you’re a bubble, be a great, fun and joyful bubble! Give your best before you burst, don’t be sad or torn apart about it!
And then...
When you have to rest your wings, maybe you have to burst!
GONE…VANISHED ! By this, you would have the honor be the FORGOTTEN one…

And being the forgotten one is not that bad at all, for you had to be recognized and loved before someone actually could forget all about you…

That’s all…and…

One more question revealed…,
You have to vanished first, then you can be forgotten, not vice versa…

Lisa Fransiska Sitompul
October 26th 2008

Why I choose “Angels vs Bubbles” as a tittle ? For at first, I couldn’t decide which one I would like to be, but now I realized that I would like to be BOTH… Doesn’t matter whether I would be the remembered or the forgotten one, having the thought that I had the courage to be one of these things had given me the satisfaction of being someone to somebody…

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