I was trying to finish one of my music score for my Junior High School students, but I couldn’t do or think of anything at all! And without any warning, I also couldn’t stop my tears, rolling down on my cheek. I couldn’t really tell anyone about it, I don’t really know how to express my sadness; I just got stressed out and sat in stillness. I tried to do something but I couldn’t! As an addition I also got this agonizing head ache from the moment I tried to get the news on my dearest cousin.
But the second I got the news, I was smiling and whispered, “Thank you Lord! Even though I have to wait for another 12 hours or so, but you’ve showed us your love n mercy by the chance to know that things had worked out according to our prayers..I believe in Your love n now... I can hold him in my mind, whispering my prayers to the angels to be with him by the grace of Your love, thank you my precious LORD!
But then again, I realized something; I was so worried because of what? My lack of trust in God’s love to me! And again, I was stunned, and what I have in mind is how am I going to express my apology to Him for I’ve doubted His Greatness and His amazing Love towards my family and I. But then I whispered again,
“Dear Lord, You are the owner of my life, I would cause You another pain if I live in regrets, You’ve always wanted me to stand tall again every time I fell down, You are the Lord of joy, and now, I can jump in joy n say.... "My sadness is not more than a legacy of the past...every second of my life is Your gift, the precious moment of learning and reveal so many secrets of life! And now I can say to me that I've learned my lesson n passed the moment of doubting the power of love n prayers.”
I never thought that I could go this far, I never had the picture of how beautiful my life is at the moment, I am surrounded by amazing people, loved by so many souls, and the most amazing thing is…, I still can be a young girl, for my family and my surroundings provide me with the treasure of youth within me! Einstein said once, darkness doesn’t exist, we recognized darkness by the lack of light, as much as cold also does not existed, for we recognized cold by the lack of heat.
So, we might have no ability to measure the light in our life without any knowledge of how would darkness looks alike, and the word 'happiness' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. We had to shed tears in order to cherish the laughter in our lives, we must witness the dark sky at dawn to actually have the ability to enjoy the beautiful ray of light that shine after that.
And for that, I will greet the rest of the day with love in my heart. And how will I do this? Henceforth will I look on all things with love and I will be born again. I will love the orange sky right before the sun sets to rest, I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit and pour me a joy and happiness. I will love the light for it shows me which way to go; yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars. I will welcome courage, strength and all simple happiness in my life for it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due, the signature of the best thing that I had done to all my loved ones; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.
Thank you for to all my dear friends and family for their love and support, God be with you all…
Lisa Fransiska Sitompul
March 3rd 2010