THE UNANSWERED

I think that one of the most essential things in life is the acceptance to all that beyond our comprehension to understand. Expectation would drive us to disappointments that lead to desperation; but then again, what is the foundation of our acceptance upon things?

What is the most devastating thing in life?

What would disappoint you the most?

Life is full of it, you name it!

A dear friend of mine just sent me a picture the other day, and he typed:

“She’s married to someone else now….”

I couldn’t say anything but to say,

“Are you ok, bro?”

At first he replied,

“Yeah, I am fine, never been better…”

Then I asked again,

“Are you alright, my friend?”

He said,

“Not really, can I come to your place?”

Too bad he replied it for more than 30 minutes in which I was already fallen to my deep sleep.

I replied in the morning and said,

“Sorry for not being able to answer your message bro, I was away in my deep sleep when you reply my message.”

And I haven’t received any reply since….

Just now, I had lunch with a colleague and he said,

“I still can’t understand how your mind either your feeling works, you have so many children to call you mommy, you have so many friends that always can come to you and tell you about almost everything, and you still have that popping ideas from your brain to actually create and inspire something! I hope that brain of yours won’t blow up and spread your brain away….!”

I laughed and said,

“It’s funny when things actually go the way you want them to be when you start not to give a damn about anything, bro… But then again, I wouldn’t miss the blessing to be the one to rely on. Sometimes, it takes only a couple of second to say, “Hi dear, what’s up, how are things going” or “Are you alright, bro?” or a simple, “It’s fine, darling, you can get through this eventually…

Last night, I asked someone, “Sorry for disturbing you… But kind of wondering, for what it’s worth; are the things that occurring in your life are actually bringing you closer to what you want?” Well, no reply to the question, but I came to one understanding that the incomprehensible is always the best tool for us to build the strength within. Whatever the answer would be, I hope he’s alright and he’s actually on his way to reach whatever he wished to reach…”

My friend just looked me deep in the eye and said,
“Well Lisa, you always know how to turn things around and make the best of anything to cheer people up or make people realize that life is more than what they have in mind. But what if that man replied to your question and says something bad or something beyond your ability to bear?”

I replied with a smile,
“Well, I didn’t expect anything, frankly speaking, I would be glad if he could reply my question, bad or good, either way would lead to a simple conclusion, which is ‘he actually have the answer to the question’ or ‘he has the guts to face things and admit whatever is occurring ad be able to express it’ bad or good is just a matter of opinion to me. “

My friend said again,

“But he didn’t reply to your Q, so??”

I said,

“Well, the mystery is his and he has all the right to hold on to it. I guess the question itself has put him in certain despair and locked him in the dungeon of his own understandings, thoughts or even disappointments, who knows.  I am not entitled to drive anyone to have the courage to open up what’s been thundering in his or her mind. Even God gives us the privilege to choose, to feel and to escalate things in our lives the way we want them to be. The question wasn’t ought to be answered, it was released by my sincere intention, but I have no expectation upon the respond, my dear friend…”

Once again, he stunned and looked me deep in the eyes, I glanced and winged to him, he laughed and said,

“Life would be great places if we all have the spirit like you do, and I’m glad to be your friend.

Once again I smiled and we continued our discussion about work and how things have been doing in our team. I surely had a good discussion in this lunch time with my friend. And once again, I realize, I always care, even though I said earlier, “It’s funny when things actually go the way you want them to be when you start not to give a damn about anything” . Well, in my case, I don’t give a damn thing about either other people care or not, I do care…. And I will never put myself to rest to care and I don’t need anyone approval upon anything regarding to the matter.

In the end, after all said and done, I came to one simple conclusion,

Life founded by sincere intentions and love will always give you more strength to give, share, contribute and inspire people in an amazing way, they might don’t like it at first, but never put yourself to the rest to give what’s best and put a great deal of love in everything you do. You might be the forgotten one, but your thoughts of pureness filled with sincerity will live and shine eternally

…eventually…

And being left out behind is just a process of finding grander discoveries in life…

Written in Jakarta, June 7^th 2013 in between the song “Bu de bu ai” by Phan Wei Po and “Sou Fang Khai” by Lie Seng Cie. Dedicated to my dearest friend, and a special dear friend Charles Pindo.

Always with love.

Lisa F Sitompul